I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
