in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
