this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
