I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
