Don't you send me to vm
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
