you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
