There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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