Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
