all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
