May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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