We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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