come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
