you would pick up someone in the library
i will never coherently bang her
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
