I'm lost and stupid without you.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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