When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
