the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
