Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize