The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
