After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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