batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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