She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
