My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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