I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
