No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
