Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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