I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
