Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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