Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
