why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
