I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
