Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
