: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
