I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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