her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize