things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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