Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
