Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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