the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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