so explain again why im purple
no
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I smell stomach acid.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
