Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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