your room smells of hookers.
And success
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
