you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
