i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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