based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Randomize
