You just made me feel so damn special
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
