I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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