Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
