You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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