I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I fill condoms, not promises.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
