I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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