yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
