the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
