I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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