it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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