so that wasnt chicken after all
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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